Alegna Soap Odds & Ends Poison Pen Letter

Poison Pen Letter

By Angela Carillo on Wednesday, July, 22nd, 2015 in Odds & Ends.



It came disguised as a holiday card. I opened the envelope and could see someone had taken the time to add a personalized note. How nice, I thought. As I started to read, I realized it wasn’t filled with best wishes for the season. It was filled with hateful comments, all about me.  I was ugly and needed a makeover. I was stuck-up and thought I was better than everyone else. I was rude, I had seen this person somewhere and not said hello. The note went on and on and ended with “Merry Christmas a$$hole”.

I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. Of course there was no signature. The writer remained anonymous. Who would do such an awful thing to anyone? For 24 hours, this person lived inside my head. I didn’t sleep that night, I couldn’t eat the next day. I kept picking up the card and re-reading it, trying to figure out who could hate me that much. I couldn’t think of anything else.

After that first day I made a decision not to give this person any more power over me. I got rid of the card. I decided I didn’t care who wrote it. The card said more about them than it did about me. Whenever I found my mind thinking about it, I said a prayer for them. I admit, my first prayer went something like “Please help that sick son-of a you know what.” But after a while I truly did feel sorry for them. It must be difficult to live with that much anger, hatred and judgement.

It’s been 10 years since my poison pen letter. I rarely even think of it anymore. I never did learn how to apply makeup or dress any better as was suggested. I decided I like myself the way I am.


Have you ever received a poison pen letter? How did you handle it?


Yours in Gratitude,


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12 responses to “Poison Pen Letter”

  1. Ann says:

    Yes I have. About 15 years ago I receive one from someone I considered a dear friend. It was very similar to the one you posted. Being much younger and less wise, it got to me. Only with work and prayer did I realize that what you said is true, it is more about them than it is us. Forgiveness and self awareness has brought my “friend” and I back to a place of communication. It will never be what it was but we’ve agreed that, with setting limits and boundaries, we can move on.
    Thank you Angela, for posting your experience.

    • Ann I know that if I had been younger when I received mine I would not have been able to deal with it as well as I did. I’m glad you were able to make a sort-of peace with your friend. Thank you for sharing.

  2. You handled this one well and let it slide off you. That must have been so difficult at first. Thanks for sharing you beautiful woman!

    • It was very difficult at first Marilyn. When I found myself thinking of it I chose to say a prayer for the sender. Over time it got easier and now I only think about it when I hear of another poison pen letter.

  3. Donna DeRosa says:

    I’ve gotten some pretty nasty blog comments over the years, but never an actual letter. It’s hard to let things like that go. But you’re right, it says more about the writer than the receiver. Sounds like you handled it well. Keep on being your beautiful self. That’s the best response.

    • Thank you Donna. Looking back, I can remember the exact moment I decided to let it go. The writer lived inside my head for 24 hours, I wasn’t giving them any more of me. I learned that I was stronger than I thought I was. A good lesson, don’t you think?

  4. Kathy says:

    Yes, I have received one in the form of an email. I have even had horrid things like that said to my face. And I thank God for removing those toxic people from my life. I choose to surround myself with people that love and support me, not those that want to drag me down. Thank you for being your beautiful self, Angela. I am so happy to call you my friend.

  5. Ann S. says:

    what is wrong with people? A bit of a coward to not even sign it. All that aside, you did the right thing. Praying over our enemies puts them where they need to be.

  6. Michele Axmaker Chapman says:

    you handled yourself beautifully! It’s a tough thing to let it go and not let it have power over you. Prayers are one of the best ways to help release it.
    I unfortunately was young when I got my letter, I’m actually proud to say I really dummy let it bother me to much, In fact, I do believe it encouraged me to be more bold about who I was.

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