It came disguised as a holiday card. I opened the envelope and could see someone had taken the time to add a personalized note. How nice, I thought. As I started to read, I realized it wasn’t filled with best wishes for the season. It was filled with hateful comments, all about me. I was ugly and needed a makeover. I was stuck-up and thought I was better than everyone else. I was rude, I had seen this person somewhere and not said hello. The note went on and on and ended with “Merry Christmas a$$hole”.
I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. Of course there was no signature. The writer remained anonymous. Who would do such an awful thing to anyone? For 24 hours, this person lived inside my head. I didn’t sleep that night, I couldn’t eat the next day. I kept picking up the card and re-reading it, trying to figure out who could hate me that much. I couldn’t think of anything else.
After that first day I made a decision not to give this person any more power over me. I got rid of the card. I decided I didn’t care who wrote it. The card said more about them than it did about me. Whenever I found my mind thinking about it, I said a prayer for them. I admit, my first prayer went something like “Please help that sick son-of a you know what.” But after a while I truly did feel sorry for them. It must be difficult to live with that much anger, hatred and judgement.
It’s been 10 years since my poison pen letter. I rarely even think of it anymore. I never did learn how to apply makeup or dress any better as was suggested. I decided I like myself the way I am.
Have you ever received a poison pen letter? How did you handle it?
Yours in Gratitude,